There are moments when the heart is full and moments when the heart aches.
Giving oneself permission to feel is a great gift that few possess. We have grown accustomed to forging ahead, moving through, letting go and living on. In helping others we convince ourselves that we help “us.”
Grief is an enormous curse yet a gift.
The gift: Grief teaches us empathy, love and compassion.
The Curse: Grief teaches us to hold the heartache within, grieve in silence and fear the tears.
On some days we survive by helping others to find comfort and moments of peace in order to sustain us.
On some days the “lump” in ones throat feels as if it has taken up a permanent residence and will forever be a “lodge” that will remain always.
Grief is the overwhelming feeling that nothing will ever be the same again. Grief can sneak up on one on any given time or day, no matter if it has been 13 hours or 13 years.
Once grief enters ones being it will never go away. It is what you do with “it” that will make a difference at the end of your days.
Today as I was looking for peace-within, searching for the life that I once LOVED and never wanting to say good bye to it, I heard a “whisper” in a song and then was immediately reminded of a note that my husband left behind.
Lost treasures that I found to sustain me for another day.
The note was written 1 year prior to my husbands passing and the song, by the “Escape Club, I’ll Be There,” woke me up from a restless sleep the very first night I came home to an empty bed. This song was not playing on the radio it was truly playing in my head – a true message, I believe, to this day was my husband reminding me through it all he and God would carry me through my most challenging days. https://youtu.be/UpOgd55PTtU
Hold on in your grief. There is light in your day, some days are just harder to find that “light.” Love who you are , who you have become and who you are yet to be. Do not give up and do not harden your heart. Feel the beauty that resides all around you and maybe some of it will seep into you.
By sharing my experience today my hope is that your loneliness will subside long enough for you to catch your breath, lessen the “lump” and feel again. Take a moment to be still…your sustaining treasure awaits…